There are days when I sit at the edge of my seat as I listen to lectures, gasp at pictures of brain scans and scribble notes like my life depends on it. Those are the days when I love Psychology, the days when what I'm doing feels well and truly useful. Then there are the days when I turn on my iPhone recording function and literally go to sleep in the lecture theater. Those are the days when I question my decisions, could you truly love what you're doing if there are moments when you feel like nothing else could make you hate life more?
Life is always a contradiction. Particularly for someone like me, whose mind is always on overdrive. Always thinking, always pondering, always over analyzing.
I think what I need in my life right now is less materialism but a whole lot more beauty.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Getting By
I remember filling this virtual space so much more frequently than I do now. I guess writing used to be a much bigger part of my life. These days it's all about Alzheimer's and perception and theories behind human cognition. Poetry and prose has been pushed so far back I wouldn't even call it a backseat anymore.
Anyway, I figured I'd update a little bit. Here's a list, because they're easier to write than coherent paragraphs.
1. I've signed a lease on a place for the new academic year and I am beyond excited! There were initial plans to live with housemates, certainly the more economical option. But I feel so lucky to be getting a place of my own like I've always wanted. Growing up, you had to mould yourself to fit around the family members you live with. And in the future you'd have to mould yourself to fit around the partner/husband/children you live with. I feel like there should be a point in time when you get a space all to yourself. So that you can wake up in the middle of the night and bake cookies with music blasting and not worry about waking anyone else up. So that you can sit by the window and sip your tea and read your book and just enjoy the peace and solitude. I'm also super lucky to have found a place that is so ME. It's bright and open and cheerful and I saw myself living there the moment I walked in. I won't say anymore incase the roof falls in over the summer because I'm a jinx like that. Lol.
Lol evidently my idea of a perfect home is quite different from most people's. Just give me some light, a background of white and a whole lot of tiny personal touches.
2. After so many months of living here and enduring freaking Yo Sushi which is NOT sushi, I finally found an amazing Japanese restaurant that makes me salivate at the thought. I can eat Japanese all day, every day.
3. I'm certainly working a lot harder this semester than I was in the last. Nothing much to say there except check out my "workstation". Word open on my laptop, journals on the iPad, textbooks and lecture notes. Lol. I never thought essays would ever be such hard work for me.
4. I'm pleased to announce that I am slowly but surely building up a new library on Kindle for iPad. I know I'm a betrayal to book lovers everywhere, but I've always said that one of my life goals is to simplify my life so much that I can fit everything I need into one suitcase. I need my books. And if I have to sacrifice the scent of old paper and the flick of pages for the convenience of having my whole library with me everywhere I go, so be it. And anyway, the iPad has its own beauty.
Currently making my way through Jodi Picoult's lesser known titles (Picture Perfect, Second Glance, The Tenth Circle). Also read Sophie Kinsella's latest, I love her, her writing is my guilty pleasure. Not to mention Diary of an On-Call Girl, the latest addition to my mobile library. I'm certainly sticking to my new year's resolution and rediscovering my love for books.:)
5. Finally, I'm looking forward to spring and Easter and the beautiful warmer months that will be filled with wonderful vacations. Must remember to post travel photos because that is something I definitely want to look back on!
Have a great day everybody. And those of you back home, I miss you all everyday and I can't wait to be back where I belong, 3 more months!
Anyway, I figured I'd update a little bit. Here's a list, because they're easier to write than coherent paragraphs.
1. I've signed a lease on a place for the new academic year and I am beyond excited! There were initial plans to live with housemates, certainly the more economical option. But I feel so lucky to be getting a place of my own like I've always wanted. Growing up, you had to mould yourself to fit around the family members you live with. And in the future you'd have to mould yourself to fit around the partner/husband/children you live with. I feel like there should be a point in time when you get a space all to yourself. So that you can wake up in the middle of the night and bake cookies with music blasting and not worry about waking anyone else up. So that you can sit by the window and sip your tea and read your book and just enjoy the peace and solitude. I'm also super lucky to have found a place that is so ME. It's bright and open and cheerful and I saw myself living there the moment I walked in. I won't say anymore incase the roof falls in over the summer because I'm a jinx like that. Lol.
Lol evidently my idea of a perfect home is quite different from most people's. Just give me some light, a background of white and a whole lot of tiny personal touches.
2. After so many months of living here and enduring freaking Yo Sushi which is NOT sushi, I finally found an amazing Japanese restaurant that makes me salivate at the thought. I can eat Japanese all day, every day.
3. I'm certainly working a lot harder this semester than I was in the last. Nothing much to say there except check out my "workstation". Word open on my laptop, journals on the iPad, textbooks and lecture notes. Lol. I never thought essays would ever be such hard work for me.
4. I'm pleased to announce that I am slowly but surely building up a new library on Kindle for iPad. I know I'm a betrayal to book lovers everywhere, but I've always said that one of my life goals is to simplify my life so much that I can fit everything I need into one suitcase. I need my books. And if I have to sacrifice the scent of old paper and the flick of pages for the convenience of having my whole library with me everywhere I go, so be it. And anyway, the iPad has its own beauty.
Currently making my way through Jodi Picoult's lesser known titles (Picture Perfect, Second Glance, The Tenth Circle). Also read Sophie Kinsella's latest, I love her, her writing is my guilty pleasure. Not to mention Diary of an On-Call Girl, the latest addition to my mobile library. I'm certainly sticking to my new year's resolution and rediscovering my love for books.:)
5. Finally, I'm looking forward to spring and Easter and the beautiful warmer months that will be filled with wonderful vacations. Must remember to post travel photos because that is something I definitely want to look back on!
Have a great day everybody. And those of you back home, I miss you all everyday and I can't wait to be back where I belong, 3 more months!
Monday, February 20, 2012
Top Auto Websites in Malaysia!
Are you in the market for a new ride? Or perhaps you're just a car enthusiast who gets a kick out of browsing the latest car listings. Either way, it wouldn't hurt for you to check out CarSifu, Malaysia's leading car classifieds website!
The first thing you'd notice is the really nice, easy to navigate layout with a simple directory. Start browsing through their collection of over 3000 ads by clicking on one of the brand options on the front page. From Audis and BMWs to Suzukis and Toyotas, CarSifu pretty much has you covered.
As for the listings, you're provided with a few photographs of the car, some detailed descriptions, the year, location and price. All you have to do is fill in your details and the seller will be in touch with you in no time! A great added feature is that beside each listing is a count of how many views the ad has had, it's really useful when trying to figure out how many other people are interested in a car you'd like to purchase.
One thing I didn't like so much? The pictures. After scrolling through a couple of ads, it's pretty clear that some of these pictures are simply taken off google search. Not a great source of information when you'd actually like an idea of the condition of the car before wasting your time on a test-drive meeting. Be careful when scrolling through the ads. If an ad provides you with only search-engine pictures, it might still be a good idea to fill in your details so that the seller could contact you. Just ask them to email you some pictures beforehand!
Not looking to buy a car but have one to sell instead? CarSifu allows you to become a member and post ads completely free! Who could say no to free advertising, am I right?
Aside from CarSifu, you might also want to check out websites such as Autoworld and Carlist. The layouts of these websites are a little different. Autoworld has an array of listings right on the front page, along with links to forums, news articles and automotive job listings. Perhaps it would be a little harder to navigate but it certainly has a lot more information for car enthusiasts.
As for Carlist, I'd say it provides both easy navigation and a lot of information. The car brands are listed right on the front page as well as "Popular Searches by Make", "Popular Searches by Location", "Latest Car Requests" and many more.
Hope these website links and reviews have been useful, feel free to click away!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
20 Questions
1. Were you named after anyone?
Nope.
2. Do you like your own handwriting?
Love it.:)
3. What would your superpower be if you could choose one?
Teleportation. My biggest problems in life have always been that I'm too far away from the ones I love or simply can't get to them fast enough.
4. Are you an optimist or pessimist?
Optimist usually. I like to hope for the best but expect the worst.
5. What do you collect?
Toy giraffes.
6. What movie would your friends be surprised that you like?
Can't think of one.
7. What are your favorite smells?
The combination of lavender and jasmine, because that's what my fresh laundry smells like. Chocolate chip cookies. The cologne on this green t-shirt I wear to sleep every night.:)
8. Coffee or tea?
Tea by a long shot.
9. Wine or beer?
Wine.:)
10. What is the best thing you've ever eaten? (Where?)
Outside dining-wise, it's a tie between banana leaf rice at Devi's, Bangsar (KL) and pumkin risotto at Zizzi (London, Cardiff). But my mom's cooking will always have top spot in my heart.:)
11. Mac or PC?
Hah! Mac, duh! Apple evangelist always!
12. What are you listening to right now?
Empty Apartment, Yellowcard.
13. What career would you pursue in another life?
Make-up artist. Artist.
14. What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of my dogs' paws as they run. I can hear them before I even see them and once I hear that sound, I know it won't be long before I see their happy furry faces.:)
15. What sound or noise do you hate?
Nails against a chalkboard. Taylor Swift (usually).
16. Mountains or beach?
Beach! Oh my god BEACH!!
17. Cook or bake?
I like baking, but cooking is just calming on a whole different level. It takes me back to the hours spent in the kitchen with my mom. When I cook, it smells like home.. and then it tastes like home. These days I come home from stressful exams, pull back my hair and get to chopping. I'm forever grateful that my mom taught me all these things, it has made all the difference in my life.
18. Do you go to restaurants and movies by yourself?
Restaurants yes but movies no. When I watch a movie by myself I like to cuddle up under my duvet with my stuffed giraffe.:)
19. What is your favorite fairy tale or childhood story?
The Giant Turnip. It's a story about an old man who planted a turnip which grew to be ENORMOUS. He pulled and pulled but couldn't pull it out, so he called his wife over. The old lady pulled the old man who pulled the turnip but they pulled and pulled but couldn't pull it out, so they called their granddaughter over. It goes on and on until the cat pulls the dog who pulls the.... well you get the gist. In the end they got the turnip out and made turnip soup for the whole village!
There is no point to this story but I loved that book so much I stole it from a library.
20. What would you tell the 13 year old you?
Stop stressing, stop pushing yourself so hard, stop trying to succeed in ways people tell you you should. Because you work a little differently from others, and when you start trusting yourself, that's when things will start working out for you.
I enjoyed playing 20 questions. I'd enjoy reading your answers, too.:)
Monday, January 30, 2012
From the heart
I slip my fingers between yours, and lay my palm against your warm cheek. This is a face I'm familiar with, every slope, every line, every crease. I've kissed it a million times. I've looked into it for signs of love, and adoration, and confidence. I've felt it pressed against my cheek, in moments of sadness, when I couldn't even tell which tear was mine anymore. And in that moment I realized, love like this is once in a lifetime. Love like this doesn't fall apart just like that. Love like this will, against all odds, find its way back to us.
* * *
All I have to do is close my eyes and I can feel your arms around me, your body pressed against me, your face in my hair, breathing in, and out. They say cells have memory. Every cell in my body remembers the warmth of your touch. And they brought it all back now, as the winds howl outside my window, and I lie here, missing you, missing you, missing you.
* * *
I used to wonder why so many people end up completely settled in life without having achieved their dreams. Now, lying here watching you sleep, I just want to throw all my big dreams out the window and come home to you. Maybe they didn't give up on their dreams, as I initially thought. Maybe they found other dreams. Dreams as beautiful as this crazy, inescapable, all consuming love we share.
* * *
All I have to do is close my eyes and I can feel your arms around me, your body pressed against me, your face in my hair, breathing in, and out. They say cells have memory. Every cell in my body remembers the warmth of your touch. And they brought it all back now, as the winds howl outside my window, and I lie here, missing you, missing you, missing you.
* * *
I used to wonder why so many people end up completely settled in life without having achieved their dreams. Now, lying here watching you sleep, I just want to throw all my big dreams out the window and come home to you. Maybe they didn't give up on their dreams, as I initially thought. Maybe they found other dreams. Dreams as beautiful as this crazy, inescapable, all consuming love we share.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Building walls and burning bridges
I guess you could say that I live a very sheltered life. So despite the few painful betrayals, I have never really learnt to build walls around my heart. I love with all of me, I give everything I could. But this makes me an enabler. It makes me a doormat. It makes me the fool who gives so much more than I would ever receive.
21 years old and I'm finally picking this up. I guess it's never too late to learn. It's time to start building walls, it's time to let go.
21 years old and I'm finally picking this up. I guess it's never too late to learn. It's time to start building walls, it's time to let go.
Yet another
The best part of 2011, was that I didn't lose anyone this year. Everyone I started the year loving, I ended the year loving even more. It may sound strange, but this is a big deal for someone my age. Because this is the time when we lose people to personality changes, life changes, distances. Not this year. Certain things have changed, but the ones I hold in my heart are still right there. In fact, I've even found room in there for a few more! I was loved, through good times and bad. And that has always meant so much more to me than all the frivolous things in life.
2011 was also a great year for vacations. I had a good 5 months off from studying, the longest break I've ever had! Amazing times with the family in Langkawi, the best friends in Penang and the person I love in Malacca. It was all about fun and adventure and relaxation and giggling over everything and being a little less sensible for a couple of days. I got a taste for it and now I whine for a vacation every chance I get! Once again, it comes down to love and being loved. I'm so grateful for the amazing people in my life who give me such beautiful memories.
Finally, 2011 was a year of change. I packed my bags and flew 14 hours to a country I've never set foot in. It wasn't easy, I was tossed into a very challenging university environment with much higher standards than I was accustomed to. All while trying to get a routine down pat so that I wouldn't find myself without food or clean clothes. When you live alone, NOBODY takes care of these things for you no matter how busy and stressed out you are. Then there was the challenge of trying to detach myself from the love I was meant to let go of. A mind over matter battle I was so ill equipped to fight. A battle I have to continue to fight in the new year.
Yet even with all that hanging over my head, I had an amazing 3 months. I've met some truly lovely people and had many moments of tearful, side cramping laughter. I started volunteering, something I've always wanted to do. Within 3 months, I've seen 4 cities in the UK. Next year, I plan to be on that train a lot. All over UK and down to Europe. It has always been my dream to travel. One of my worst fears is settling down with a stable job and a family with the dissatisfied ache of knowing I never traveled enough.
I've been told time and time again that I'm still young, but time has never been about age for me. You never know when your time is up, every moment is precious, every moment counts. I'd like to think that, despite all the challenges, I made 2011 count. And I plan to do even better for 2012. Happy new year everybody, have an amazing year ahead.
New Years Resolutions:
1. Average on 1st class for uni
2. Maintain a healthy diet
3. Travel more
4. Volunteer more
5. Read more
6. Write more
7. Be stronger
2011 was also a great year for vacations. I had a good 5 months off from studying, the longest break I've ever had! Amazing times with the family in Langkawi, the best friends in Penang and the person I love in Malacca. It was all about fun and adventure and relaxation and giggling over everything and being a little less sensible for a couple of days. I got a taste for it and now I whine for a vacation every chance I get! Once again, it comes down to love and being loved. I'm so grateful for the amazing people in my life who give me such beautiful memories.
Finally, 2011 was a year of change. I packed my bags and flew 14 hours to a country I've never set foot in. It wasn't easy, I was tossed into a very challenging university environment with much higher standards than I was accustomed to. All while trying to get a routine down pat so that I wouldn't find myself without food or clean clothes. When you live alone, NOBODY takes care of these things for you no matter how busy and stressed out you are. Then there was the challenge of trying to detach myself from the love I was meant to let go of. A mind over matter battle I was so ill equipped to fight. A battle I have to continue to fight in the new year.
Yet even with all that hanging over my head, I had an amazing 3 months. I've met some truly lovely people and had many moments of tearful, side cramping laughter. I started volunteering, something I've always wanted to do. Within 3 months, I've seen 4 cities in the UK. Next year, I plan to be on that train a lot. All over UK and down to Europe. It has always been my dream to travel. One of my worst fears is settling down with a stable job and a family with the dissatisfied ache of knowing I never traveled enough.
I've been told time and time again that I'm still young, but time has never been about age for me. You never know when your time is up, every moment is precious, every moment counts. I'd like to think that, despite all the challenges, I made 2011 count. And I plan to do even better for 2012. Happy new year everybody, have an amazing year ahead.
New Years Resolutions:
1. Average on 1st class for uni
2. Maintain a healthy diet
3. Travel more
4. Volunteer more
5. Read more
6. Write more
7. Be stronger
Friday, December 9, 2011
About a week before I go home is when I choose to update about life here. It has been busy, but it has been good. I guess there's something about living on your own, it changes you for the better but it's definitely not easy to get used to. I'm loving Cardiff. It's a beautiful city with friendly people. It's a small place but I have everything I need.
Everything except my heart and the boy who stole it.
Everything except my heart and the boy who stole it.
Friday, November 25, 2011
By Ludwig van Beethoven
Even in bed my ideas yearn towards you, my Immortal Beloved, here and there joyfully, then again sadly, awaiting from Fate, whether it will listen to us. I can only live, either altogether with you or not at all. Yes, I have determined to wander about for so long far away, until I can fly into your arms and call myself quite at home with you, can send my soul enveloped by yours into the realm of the spirits- yes, I regret, it must be. You will get over it all the more as you know my faithfulness to you; never another one can own my heart, never- never! O God, why must one go away from what one loves so, and yet my life in W. as it is now is a miserable life. Your love made me the happiest and unhappiest at the same time. At my actual age I should need some continuity, sameness of life- can that exist under our circumstances? Angel, I just hear that the post goes out every day- and must close therefore, so that you get the L.at once. Be calm- love me- today- yesterday.
What longing in tears for you- You- my Life- my All- farewell. Oh, go on loving me- never doubt the faith-fullest heart
Of your beloved
L.
Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours.
What longing in tears for you- You- my Life- my All- farewell. Oh, go on loving me- never doubt the faith-fullest heart
Of your beloved
L.
Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours.
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