Shade of Purple

Early 21st with my 2nd family.:)

2012-01-20T05:03:00.001+08:00

One word: LEGENDARY!

Building walls and burning bridges

2012-01-01T22:37:00.001+08:00

I guess you could say that I live a very sheltered life. So despite the few painful betrayals, I have never really learnt to build walls around my heart. I love with all of me, I give everything I could. But this makes me an enabler. It makes me a doormat. It makes me the fool who gives so much more than I would ever receive.

21 years old and I'm finally picking this up. I guess it's never too late to learn. It's time to start building walls, it's time to let go.

Yet another

2012-01-01T17:05:00.001+08:00

The best part of 2011, was that I didn't lose anyone this year. Everyone I started the year loving, I ended the year loving even more. It may sound strange, but this is a big deal for someone my age. Because this is the time when we lose people to personality changes, life changes, distances. Not this year. Certain things have changed, but the ones I hold in my heart are still right there. In fact, I've even found room in there for a few more! I was loved, through good times and bad. And that has always meant so much more to me than all the frivolous things in life.

2011 was also a great year for vacations. I had a good 5 months off from studying, the longest break I've ever had! Amazing times with the family in Langkawi, the best friends in Penang and the person I love in Malacca. It was all about fun and adventure and relaxation and giggling over everything and being a little less sensible for a couple of days. I got a taste for it and now I whine for a vacation every chance I get! Once again, it comes down to love and being loved. I'm so grateful for the amazing people in my life who give me such beautiful memories.

Finally, 2011 was a year of change. I packed my bags and flew 14 hours to a country I've never set foot in. It wasn't easy, I was tossed into a very challenging university environment with much higher standards than I was accustomed to. All while trying to get a routine down pat so that I wouldn't find myself without food or clean clothes. When you live alone, NOBODY takes care of these things for you no matter how busy and stressed out you are. Then there was the challenge of trying to detach myself from the love I was meant to let go of. A mind over matter battle I was so ill equipped to fight. A battle I have to continue to fight in the new year.

Yet even with all that hanging over my head, I had an amazing 3 months. I've met some truly lovely people and had many moments of tearful, side cramping laughter. I started volunteering, something I've always wanted to do. Within 3 months, I've seen 4 cities in the UK. Next year, I plan to be on that train a lot. All over UK and down to Europe. It has always been my dream to travel. One of my worst fears is settling down with a stable job and a family with the dissatisfied ache of knowing I never traveled enough.

I've been told time and time again that I'm still young, but time has never been about age for me. You never know when your time is up, every moment is precious, every moment counts. I'd like to think that, despite all the challenges, I made 2011 count. And I plan to do even better for 2012. Happy new year everybody, have an amazing year ahead.

New Years Resolutions:
1. Average on 1st class for uni
2. Maintain a healthy diet
3. Travel more
4. Volunteer more
5. Read more
6. Write more
7. Be stronger

2011-12-09T18:43:00.001+08:00

About a week before I go home is when I choose to update about life here. It has been busy, but it has been good. I guess there's something about living on your own, it changes you for the better but it's definitely not easy to get used to. I'm loving Cardiff. It's a beautiful city with friendly people. It's a small place but I have everything I need.

Everything except my heart and the boy who stole it.

By Ludwig van Beethoven

2011-11-25T21:54:00.001+08:00

Even in bed my ideas yearn towards you, my Immortal Beloved, here and there joyfully, then again sadly, awaiting from Fate, whether it will listen to us. I can only live, either altogether with you or not at all. Yes, I have determined to wander about for so long far away, until I can fly into your arms and call myself quite at home with you, can send my soul enveloped by yours into the realm of the spirits- yes, I regret, it must be. You will get over it all the more as you know my faithfulness to you; never another one can own my heart, never- never! O God, why must one go away from what one loves so, and yet my life in W. as it is now is a miserable life. Your love made me the happiest and unhappiest at the same time. At my actual age I should need some continuity, sameness of life- can that exist under our circumstances? Angel, I just hear that the post goes out every day- and must close therefore, so that you get the L.at once. Be calm- love me- today- yesterday.

What longing in tears for you- You- my Life- my All- farewell. Oh, go on loving me- never doubt the faith-fullest heart

Of your beloved
L.
Ever thine.
Ever mine.
Ever ours.

Of Love and Letting Go

2011-09-18T13:44:00.001+08:00

My relationship was different from most people's in some ways. Because I was such a severely overprotected little girl. And my boyfriend and I met almost by chance, me with my lack of faith in tuition centers (I was dragged there against my will) and him living too far away to frequent that center if it wasn't for his grandmother who happened to be teaching there. Neither of us actually wanted to be there, so we could very well have missed each other entirely. We didn't live in the same area nor travel in the same social circles. We were far too immature to let go, and far too young to take matters into our own hands. So as you can imagine, things went a little differently from the usual progression of a romantic relationship.

We spent a good three years in a, for lack of a better word, "secret" relationship. It's not the least bit romantic and tragic. In fact, it involved way too many whispered phone conversations in the dead of the night (I even had to save his number under the name Lauren. Hehe). We were lucky if we got to see each other once every other week. Even then the dates were orchestrated like missions, with the help of lovely, supportive people like my cousin Lily and my best friend Lauren. It was difficult, but we made the most of it. Meanwhile, my fellow high schoolers either saw their boyfriends every day in school or at least every weekend, went out on regular dates, hung out at each other's houses and some even got to go on trips together! You can just imagine my jealousy!

Then I got my driving license, graduated from high school, got a car and got a little bit more freedom, in exactly that order. So things started looking up a bit! We went to the same college for three weeks, which involved breakfasts in long car rides and several misadventures, before he trotted off to a different college. We went through a difficult patch but we pulled through and the past few years have been nothing short of amazing. We got our lazy afternoons cuddled up on the couch. We got our simple day-to-day routines. We got our splorin (exploring) trips, awesome vacations and bucket loads of memories. And the best part was the realization that after so many years of this, we still weren't sick of each other. I was still excited to pull up into his driveway and he was still excited to open the door and greet me with the biggest, tightest, warmest hug.

So you see, we got everything we wanted. Sure, we had to fight, claw and crawl our way through what others sailed through seamlessly. But most of them sailed from one relationship to another almost as seamlessly, while we're still here. And we're still us. This realization really helps on the days when I start to feel like the world is against us. It really helps me stay optimistic about the impending separation, about the unusual decision we've made to let go, to fight by not fighting.

So this is to the love of my life:

I can't say I WILL love you forever, because the future is so uncertain, and we're no longer teenagers with no knowledge of pain, and change, and life. But I can tell you this. I've loved you, every second of every day, for the past five and a half years. Even at our absolute lowest, even when I acted otherwise, even when I didn't want to.

And I intend to love you. I intend to keep you in my heart, as we let go of us, the way one lets go of an injured bird they've nursed to full health. I intend to continue believing in the fragile castles that hang in the air on those drives through beautiful suburbs, the dreams that were never truly verbalized.

And finally, I intend to be brave, and to keep my arms open to us, whether in welcome or in grudging release. After all, this future of ours could very well be just another wish we have to wait for, am I right?

Holy Grails

2011-09-16T17:04:00.001+08:00

In the midst of packing and I figured I'd show the few make-up products I have that I'd consider "Holy Grail" because I just love them so much!

1. M.A.C Fascinating Ruby Palette

This was a Christmas present from the boyfriend a couple of years back and this being my first ever eyeshadow palette, it set the bar pretty high for me! 6 really gorgeous colors for a neutral or dark smokey eye. It's limited edition though but you can get the colors individually, I'd say a must have is Satin Taupe. It's so soft and shimmery and beautiful!

2. Urban Decay Naked Palette

I think this goes without saying, it's sold out worldwide for a reason. So many pretty neutrals so you can create a billion different looks with them! Not as soft, blend-able and long lasting as my M.A.C ones, definitely, but still great quality!

3. M.A.C Bronzing Powder

Birthday present from my lovely friends.:) A really soft, beautiful Bronzer with very subtle shimmers. Blends really well and goes great with my skin tone. A nice proper brown, not a big fan of orange bronzers.

4. M.A.C Sun Centered Color Form Powder

Another present from the lovely boyfriend who knows me too well. It was Bronzer in the center with blush around it but the Bronzer section was all used up a long time ago, lol. The blush is perfect, a gorgeous sheer peach color that looks super natural even though it has really tiny shimmers.

5. Bobbi Brown Gel Liner in Black Ink

Really dark and smooth and long lasting. Way better than M.A.C Fluid Line in my opinion.:)

6. Amazing Concealer

Crazy pigmented stuff! You just need the tiniest bit so the tube lasts for ages. Takes some time to blend out though, and can be a bit drying, but the coverage is unbeatable.

7. Kiss Me Heavy Rotation Perfect Liquid Liner

Affordable and really easy to apply. Looks great and lasts all day too!

8. Maybelline Volume Express Mascara

So far the only mascara I've tried that can really hold my curl. It does volumize a little but doesn't really lengthen so definitely not really holy grail material for people with sparse lashes. I just love it because it keeps my lashes curled without looking gross and clumpy.

More Photojournaling

2011-09-13T01:58:00.007+08:00

Received my Bubbi Brushes in less than a week thanks to express postage, they're absolutely beautiful! I'm a massive fan of Bubzbeauty so of course I couldn't resist picking these up!

Was showing TW my camera when Joey just came and sat next to me so I was like OK picture! Haha. He's such a sweetheart.

My uncle recently opened a bar in KL so we went to check it out during the day. We had the whole place to ourselves so it was pretty funny. I never had the chance to poke around behind a proper bar before. Haha.

I keep stumbling across random pieces of advice (don't ask me where, I can't remember because I read way too many books and articles) telling bloggers to be more focused. Like, pick a topic and be organized and structured. I'm like to hell with that, I'm not a blogger, I'm just a girl with a blog.:)

You are the best one, of the best ones...

2011-09-07T23:13:00.002+08:00

"Stolen"

We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

Invitation only, grand farewells
Crash the best one, of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy-eyed, too early to say goodnight...

You have stolen my heart
You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well
Sleep well
Sleep well
Sleep well
Sleep well

You have stolen my....
You have stolen my....
You have stolen my....
You have stolen my heart....

I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel

You have stolen my
You have stolen my
You have stolen my
You have stolen my heart........

Most days are fine, in fact, they're amazing. But sometimes I stumble upon things like this heartbreaking song and I remember how quickly time flies. Then all I want to do is curl up in bed and cry until my eyes fall out.

Books

2011-09-04T05:55:00.001+08:00

5.10am and it has been literally 5 hours since I curled up under my covers with the full intention of going to sleep at a somewhat appropriate hour. I guess after approximately a couple of years of this I can no longer deny that I have a problem.

At least I'm comfortable though. And happy. And above all, at peace. Because I've been so anxious lately, particularly in the moments before sleep. I just worry myself senseless over everything and reach for my phone constantly to add something to my To-Do list or put something into my planner.

Speaking of sleepless nights, I have to say mine has been made so much more bearable by the iPad! When my dad tossed me his first gen (after having replaced it with his new love, the iPad2) I was all dude, I have an iPhone. What would I do with this massive thing? Now it has replaced the staggering stack of books I used to keep at my bedside for bedtime reading. iBooks has rekindled my love for classics and I'm really appreciating the convenience of modern technology. Plus it's a good size and even makes the lovely flicking sound when you flip the page! Steve Jobs, you are a genius, please get well soon.

Here are a few I've read in the past week and would definitely recommend because I loved them all so much:

1. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
2. Little Men by Louisa May Alcott
3. Jo's Boys by Louisa May Alcott
4. A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett

As you can see, really loving the Little Women series. Especially the later ones. My favorite character would have to be Dan. Haha. What a coincidence.

I try to update my "currently reading" section but it just changes so fast and I'm just far too lazy. So maybe I'll just include a list at the end of some random posts. If anybody cares for it. I feel like there aren't enough readers around me. Thank god for my little sister Jean and my cousin Lily, because readers like me are geeky and thirst for book discussions.

It's pretty funny, how sister and I are constantly talking about some story or other, and eavesdropping mommy would be all "Who?!" as if expecting some juicy bit of gossip about a real life person. Haha!

This is a very random post that has somehow turned into a book-discussion. Ish. The morning prayers from a nearby mosque is blaring. I shall return to my iBooks and hope Pride and Prejudice would put me to sleep.

Have a nice day everybody.:)

Feathers!

2011-08-29T19:08:00.001+08:00

20

2011-08-14T01:59:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday to the most complicated person in the world. A person made up of so many different layers, all of them built upon strength, and kindness, and integrity. A person who opened up my eyes, and taught me to open up my heart. A person I couldn't possibly get bored of, not after 5 years, not ever. A person who needs to see himself through my eyes, because he needs to know how incredibly amazing I think he is.

I love you so much, my darling. Happy 20th.:)

Malaysia's Largest Homestay Website!

2011-08-08T21:05:00.003+08:00

You've probably been seeing this ad on cabs all over the city. Or perhaps you're someone who's looking to rent or rent out a room. Either way, this would be interesting to you. What am I talking about? Why iBilik Homestays, of course! Malaysia's Largest Homestay Website!

It's basically a portal that connects those who wish to rent out rooms with those who are looking for rooms to rent. The layout of the website is simple but very organized, with listings separated by area (e.g. Bangsar, Puchong, Penang, Johor, etc.) Each listing also provides loads of information for prospective renters! You'll be able to view bright, clear photographs of the room as well as other parts of the house/apartment. Descriptions are detailed and accompanied by a map! Very useful!

So what sets iBilik Homestays apart from other listing portals? Well, for one thing, not just any listing can appear on the portal. Each listing has to be submitted for approval before it could appear on the site, to ensure detailed and accurate information is being provided. This is great for those looking to rent as they are less likely to be scammed. As for those renting out rooms, this is a great way to get all the information out there in an organized manner.

The site also makes things easier for both parties by providing a payment service. Like PayPal, this payment system protects both parties from fraud and illicit behaviors. The host is charged a 10% processing fee for this payment service, but that's a small price to pay for security.

I personally found this site to be very useful and easy to navigate. So if you have a room to rent out or if you're looking for accommodation, I would recommend visiting the site!

Bits and Bobs

2011-08-07T01:08:00.006+08:00

So nothing much has changed, I'm still on holiday. Still having fun, still keeping busy trying to spend as much time as possible with the boyfriend, family and friends. I've been told that I should be doing something more productive, but I really do think I'm being productive. Let's put it this way, if I were on my deathbed, I'd die happier knowing that I spent quality time with my loved ones before leaving the country. A 3 month internship during this time, no matter how prestigious, could never give anyone the same kind of peace.

It's such a morbid way of thinking. Lol. But it's worked for me. I have the tendency to veer towards being overly ambitious and achievement driven. Success is important, yes, but at the end of the day, you have to get your priorities right. You have to remember what really matters. As Jesus once said, what profits a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?

So yeah, enough rambling, brace yourself for completely random pictures and a few words here in there. Haha.

Apple crumble at Betty's Midwest Kitchen during one of the regular Thursday lunches. Haha. That place is pretty kick ass. And of course, always great spending time with my lovelies. It's been a long time since Foundation, when we had all the time in the world to spend together. I'm glad we're still as tight as ever.:)

Saying goodbye to my best friend.:( Val and I drove over to her place and hung out there until she left for the airport. It was hard and it left me feeling more than a little empty. This friendship, formed so unexpectedly, has been a lifesaver so many times in the past few years. Take care, San. I love you.:(

Also had a lovely morning with Val on Friday. Breakfast and long conversations on the couch. She left the country straight out of high school but no matter how long its been between conversations we just pick up where we left off. Friends like that are not easy to find.:)

It's sad that there was a point when the three of us were planning to live together, and yet come Monday we would be in three different continents.:(

Shopping day with Small Stuff. Had lunch at T-bowl, the place decorated to look like a toilet! Hehe it was hilarious, we ate on a sink, sat on toilet bowls and had mango sago out of a leetle bathtub. The food wasn't great but we were really tickled. Lol.

Clubbing last weekend. Pics taken while having a couple of beers and waiting for the boyfriend and Nick. It's weird how I used to hate loud music and now I love clubbing. I love getting dressed and putting on makeup and dancing for hours on end! Had tons of fun, flaming lamborghini and everything. It was also my cousin Ashley's first time clubbing! Haha! I'm such a bad influence.

Shah Alam i-City erm, night before? Something like that. We were just chilling, having scones and just decided last minute that we were going to check that place out. The lights were gorgeous but it was raining at first, which was a real bummer. Of course we ended up having fun anyway, like we always do. Haha. It's like to hell with planning, it'll all work out!

Running in the rain, kissing parrot, my awesome flying light toy thing that I still keep in my bag because I love it so much, silly arcade games, my group of almost all 20 year old friends getting overly excited playing Uno stacko, crazy awesome boys vs. girls laser tag, sad boyfriend's face when I shot him repeatedly (hehe I love you), coming home late then insisting on showing sister how my toy works and ended up spending a good half an hour trying to get it off the top of my AC. Yeah that pretty much sums it up.

That's pretty much it, not a lot of pictures. I really should start taking more pictures. I carry my lovely pink camera with me everywhere (birthday present from the boyfriend.<3) but never seem to whip it out for much. I don't know how people do it, snap a million and one pictures all day, every day. I just feel like it takes away time that could be better spent enjoying the moment instead of capturing it. But it's nice to have pictures to look back on.:)

Will update again.... sometime. Whatever. Till then, take care everybody.:)

White Sheets Blue Skies

2011-07-25T23:06:00.005+08:00

Someday, I'm going to live someplace where I can look out the window and get a good view of beautiful waters. I don't think I'll ever get sick of looking at the ocean. I surround myself with pictures like these and somehow they just remind me of what's important. It probably doesn't make much sense to most but it makes sense to me.

A lot has been going on lately. I have a few pictures here and there which I was planning to update with but, for no reason at all, I've decided to post these instead. I've started the whole visa application and buying for the move thing. I don't see myself possibly having a problem with overpacking and that pleases me. Not just because of convenience but because I feel like I'm truly learning to prioritize. Once again, something that doesn't make sense to most, but makes perfect sense to me.

I do, however, see myself having a major problem with farewells. I don't know how anyone could leave and not feel like their hearts are breaking into a million pieces. I don't know how anyone could leave and act like they never belonged. Then again, perhaps they don't have the ties that I have here, the love that I have here.

Do you have to make me feel like there's nothing left of me?

2011-07-24T00:41:00.003+08:00

I've been a fan of Demi Lovato since Sonny with a Chance and after Skyscraper, I have to admit I'm a die hard Lovatic. The sister and I have been replaying this like crazy since it came out like seriously, just walk into our room and it's playing! She's such an inspiration and the video is so beautiful!

Penang Day 2 & Day 3

2011-07-15T22:06:00.002+08:00

Haha OK so obviously I'm horrible at this whole blogging thing. Here are some pictures here and there, from the 2nd and 3rd day in Penang.:) Second day was spent doing the tourist thing, visiting Bukit Bendera, the temple, etc. Eating loadsa good food and enjoying the beautiful view. I loved it. Second night spent chilling, drinking, ghost hunting, so on and so forth.

Third day was spent at the beautiful beach. Jet skiing was awesome! Boyfriend was speeding like crazy against the waves and I couldn't stop laughing. Lol. Banana boat was super fun too. There was a point when a fish flew over our heads!

I should make more effort to take more pictures, but I was having way too much fun. It was certainly a memorable trip. I love you guys so much, looking forward to our next great adventure!

The Good in All of Us

2011-07-12T02:20:00.001+08:00

So the past weekend was crazy, and I know this has been said too many times, but it has made me so proud to be Malaysian. So proud of the 50,000 amazingly brave people who, despite all the threats and warnings, walked anyway. For us, and for our country.

It's an age old tale I suppose. After all, Hitler's reign of terror would be impossible without the countless men who were "just following orders". I've studied this, I know that humans are prone to assuming roles and doing despicable things when wedged between those with all the power and those with none.

What I don't understand is where that moral compass went. Where are your hearts? Aren't you human too? Weren't you raised the same way the rest of us were, with parents, schools and religious institutes planting moral values into your minds and hearts?

In what universe is it alright to fling tear gas canisters at such a low angle in order to harm the very people you swore to serve and protect? In what universe is it acceptable to gas a hospital full of patients and peaceful protesters seeking refuge? In what universe is it even an option to keep a man on the ground, in handcuffs, as he struggled through his last breath?

I was never pro-opposition, but argue as you may that Bersih was merely an opposition movement, it doesn't change anything. What it started out as doesn't change what it turned into. At the end of the day, it has opened the people's eyes to those in power.

And those are people who are so terrified of losing their positions they would resort to such extreme displays of violence. Those are people who lie and lie and lie, even in the face of undeniable evidence, because there isn't an ounce of integrity left in them. Those are people who laugh along as their leader publicly mock the pain of his people. Pain HE inflicted upon them.

And those of you sitting at your computers, typing out statuses about all of us being "brainwashed by the opposition", putting patriot badges on your display pictures, whining time and time again about how Bersih is ruining the "peaceful Malaysian culture". You people need to set aside politics, set aside your strange need to be unique and have a different opinion from anyone else (sadly that's the main goal of many of these teens) and watch the videos. Watch the millions of videos captured on cellphones all over the city. Watch your beloved officers beat your fellow countrymen to pulp. Watch the international news coverage of outside, unbiased reporters. Watch your leader cackle on about tear gas victims like it was all a great joke. And read their reports too, read their sides.

Are their claims of "opposition infiltration" in the Bersih 2.0 movement enough for you? Are you satisfied with that explanation for all that unprovoked violence in our "peace loving" country?

If you are then I have just one more question for you.

There is no more good left in them, but where is the good in you?

Quotes

2011-07-09T01:30:00.001+08:00

“Look at the person on your left, and the person on your right. In a hundred years, they will both be dead. We spend our lives worrying about things that are in the present, things that are transitory and are insignificant in the greater scheme of things. Spend your life thinking about things that are eternal, not temporary. Spend your life thinking about things that will matter 100 years from today, things that mattered 100 years ago and will continue to be important.
Your education has not ended, in fact it starts right after your graduation. Think about the everlasting effect of your existence, read the great books, read because it matters. Your education starts when you start learning about stuff because it matters and the only questions that matter are why are you here? what’s the purpose of your life?”
-sweatlee.com

“Love, being in love, isn’t a constant thing. It doesn’t always flow at the same strength. It’s not always like a river in flood. It’s more like the sea. It has tides, it ebbs and flows. The thing is, when love is real, whether it’s ebbing or flowing, it’s always there, it never goes away. And that’s the only proof you can have that it is real, and not just a crush or an infatuation or a passing fancy.”

“I think the act of reading imbues the reader with a sensitivity toward the outside world that people who don’t read can sometimes lack. I know it seems like a contradiction in terms; after all reading is such a solitary, internalizing act that it appears to represent a disengagement from day-to-day life. But reading, and particularly the reading of fiction, encourages us to view the world in new and challenging ways…It allows us to inhabit the consciousness of another which is a precursor to empathy, and empathy is, for me, one of the marks of a decent human being.”

— John Connolly (The Book of Lost Things)

“People want pretty much the same things: They wanted to be happy. Most young people seemed to think that those things lay somewhere in the future, while most older people believed they lay in the past.”

— Nicholas Sparks (Nights in Rodanthe)

"Being a freelance writer is interesting and not really a good thing for people who don’t enjoy a permanent sense of panic."

"When we go into the future, we worry and plan. When we go into the past, we resent and regret. Threads of fear are woven into the mental tapestries of past and future."

“People say I make strange choices, but they’re not strange for me. My sickness is that I’m fascinated by human behavior, by what’s underneath the surface, by the worlds inside people.”

— Johnny Depp (via diastemas)

Uncredited quotes from Tumblr, not sure who the original sources are.:)

I look through my notes and am always surprised to find I have no memory of saving any of these quotes. Once again, having a bad memory can be fun.:)

Frozen moments

2011-06-29T00:42:00.007+08:00

So I just synched my phone to my laptop for the first time in months so I figured, you know, a short picture post wouldn't hurt.

My little cousin Ashley graduated high school. At 16. That's insanely early, she's insanely young to be going to college. But she's wise beyond her years so she'll be fine! Lol.

She's also a fabulous canvas to work on because she has flawless skin and like crazy prominent cheekbones. A little experiment when we were bored one afternoon. I love how it turned out I think she looks amazing.:)

Last Saturday night at Gourmandis, it's a new restaurant/bar that just opened up in Citta- the new mall in Ara Damansara. With boyfriend, Small, Arunn, Nick and Elyse. It was opening night so free flow of food and drinks. Great food, delicious mixers and awesome wine, so we're definitely going back there and actually paying for our food next time!

The dress code was all black, so Small and I were twins that night, with matching skinnies and tiny tops. Mommy was all "Hey you guys look the same except your head's bigger!"-_-

I'd better be maid of honor at your wedding cause man do I have stories to tell! Hohoho.

Hello, handsome. :) It sucks when your boyfriend has better skin than you. That's me with foundation and bronzer on. That's him with, obviously, absolutely nothing on. There's no justice in this world I tell you.

I know I throw in these picture post once in awhile and they can be a bit random and pointless but what the hell, I like looking back at the awesome times I have with the people I love. And now I shall be trotting off to bed because it's an early trip to the JPJ with pretty boy up there tomorrow. Hoho.

Have a nice day everybody.:)

New iPhone Wallpaper

2011-06-28T00:55:00.001+08:00

It's so beautiful I sigh a little every time I "slide to unlock". The world is such an amazing place, so full of breathtaking things. I'm lucky to be alive. We all are.:)

Holiday

2011-06-24T03:53:00.001+08:00

Now that I'm not in school, my days just seem to flow into one another like an endless chunk of time that ends only in September. I barely remember days and dates anymore and it's nice. My first year of uni was spent working like a dog juggling studies, writing and researching. I needed this break. I deserve it, and I'm not going to let anyone tell me otherwise. Because no one else has any idea how tired I was.

I have been feeling a bit put upon though. I guess I've been so focused on trying to be a good person, the selfless person I never used to be. I forgot that it's just human nature to be unappreciative. People can love you to death, but if they can make you bend over backwards for them, they will. And then their demands just build and build and they'll be expecting you to run to keep up. I know that for a fact, because these people love me more than anyone else in the world. What they're doing is not ok with me. Yes, I only have a couple of months left here. But my time is still my own. These months don't belong to any of you.

On a brighter note, I've just recently finished reading a couple of old favorites. I love having a bad memory and forgetting story lines because I get to be delighted all over again.:)

Life Goals

2011-06-15T00:54:00.001+08:00

I want to be the kind of person whose treasured possessions can fit into just one tiny suitcase. Because things are not my world, and everything that I need are in my mind and heart.

I want to be the kind of person who takes photographs, writes poetry, dances for no reason, lights up aromatherapy candles, drinks tea and reads old yellowed paperbacks. The kind of person who appreciates the finer things in life.

I want to be the kind of person capable of writing something that makes someone out there feel a little less alone. The kind of person whose words actually matter.

I want to be the kind of person with the strength to embrace change. The spirit to seek adventure. I want to love like crazy, and be loved like crazy.

I've been trying so hard to figure out what I really want in life, where I want to go, what I want to achieve. But at the end of the day, it's not about where you go or what you have. It's about who you are. Would you die happy if you died the person you are today?

2011-06-11T02:06:00.003+08:00

I had an amazing day today.:) Lunch at Betty Midwest Kitchen (or something) then shopping at OU with San.

Then at night chilling out and watching Love and Other Drugs with Lil Ash while screaming "Tits!!" and "Butt!!" every time either of those appear on screen.

I've been having so many amazing days. Whether it's with my lovely boyfriend or my wonderful friends. I'm so lucky to have so many people I can trust with my life. :)

Penang Day 1

2011-06-06T17:48:00.011+08:00

Hey guys, so I finally found time to update on the Penang trip but my internet is a bitch so I've cut down the number of pictures significantly. Just random ones here and there.:)

It was a seriously awesome trip with some of my favorite people in the world. You guys know how much I love you.:)

On the ferry!

Lunch at this crazy awesome chicken rice shop place! Swimming! Etc etc. You know, the usual holiday stuff. Pictures on Small's FB.

We had dinner at Gurney Drive (I think?) where I had only satisfactory char kuey teow. There are just way too many stalls there, seriously, how is anyone supposed to know which ones are the good ones?

After dinner we headed to MOIS. Clubbing in Penang is funny. It's like one second the dance floor is empty and everybody is just chilling and drinking at their tables... then the next thing you know the dance floor gets so crazy packed! It's been awhile (March I suppose?) since I got to dance so it was pretty awesome.

And day 1 ended back at the hotel because when you're on vacation, you don't stop partying! Lol.

2011-06-03T12:39:00.001+08:00

In the last 2 weeks, I was told I may not get into my dream uni (requirements are much higher than I thought), cried, worked really hard on applications with help and advice from really kind people, then got an unofficial acceptance email! So yeah, a pretty strange couple of weeks. But I'm pleased as punch because I honestly could not see myself going anywhere else.

It was eye-opener though. Got a good look at myself and realized how badly I handle disappointments. I'm like a spoilt child who acts like the sky is falling down when she doesn't get her way. Even though the alternatives ought to be equally appealing. Disappointments are a part of life, that's a lesson I'll have to learn. Thankfully not this time though.:)

Less than 4 months till I leave. How do you say goodbye to the first person on your speed dial, the person closest to your heart for the past 5 years?

The scars of your love, remind me of us

2011-05-28T02:36:00.002+08:00

2.37am in the morning and I'm up working on my personal statement. Thought I was done with this whole staying up at ungodly hours to do work thing, at least for a few months. Thought wrong. Haha.

Anyway, this is the most current song I'm obsessed with- Rolling in the Deep by Adele. If you know me you'd know that I go through phases where I get completely obsessed with a certain song and just want to listen to it all day and all night. It lasts a good few months too. And even after months of replays, I still love them. I can still hear them ages later and sing all the words and never ever get sick of it.:)

Fleeting

2011-05-26T02:59:00.001+08:00

Life is such a fragile thing. In the blink of an eye, you can lose it. Living is not a right, it's a privilege. One that can be revoked at any moment. And yet instead of savoring it, many of us spend most of our time lamenting the loss or the lack of the most inconsequential things.

Appreciate what you have instead of obsessing over what you don't. Look inwardly, always. Instead of looking at others, comparing yourself to others, seeking the approval of others.

And always remember to love, to not put loving off till tomorrow. Because you never know when someone would be out of your life for good. More often than not, you don't really get the chance to say goodbye.

Scatterbrained

2011-05-24T03:04:00.002+08:00

So evidently updating with vacation pictures wouldn't be happening soon, as I'm the world's biggest procrastinator. It's sad really, that I put off these posts to a point where I just lump a few pictures in and that's that. The thing is, pictures don't tell the whole story, especially with people like us who are more inclined to live life than to freeze for the frames. But even so I do like having something to look back on.:)

I don't have words to describe my life these days. A lot of it is a huge muddle. So until I find the words to describe it, I'll leave you with other words instead. Some my own, some belong the others. The latter I'll be sure to state.

* * *

I should feel some sort of anger, indignation at least. But all I can manage is the tiniest twinge of sadness. After all, the malice lies only on the other side of the fence. And that's a land over which I have no control.

* * *

"You can't do it alone, you need a team. Find the best people and let go of the rest."
- The Daily Love via Twitter

I'm so lucky, to have the most amazing support team in the world. In fact, I think I'm somewhat spoilt. Not materialistically (in this case) but rather in the sense that I have never once in my life felt a lack of love and companionship. I guess it helps being the type of person who doesn't find it painful to be alone (Murakami). But that's not the point. The point is that I'm always loved and always supported and always taken care of, whether I need it or not. That is more than most can say and I am so so grateful for that.

* * *

“As time goes on, you’ll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn’t, doesn’t. Time solves most things. And what time can’t solve, you have to solve yourself.”
— Haruki Murakami

* * *

Sometimes you just want to put other people's happiness before yours because you love them, because they deserve it. Sometimes you want to go out of your way for people just because you know it's important that they get a chance to smile once in a while.
- Tumblr

* * *

It sounds stupid to say, but I am now convinced that all that fear was conditioned. Like I felt that way because I thought I was supposed to. Maybe. I don't know. My mind changes way too often. But for now, I'm not afraid, not anymore. And though I still feel uncontrollably sad, I know that this is something I have to do for myself.

* * *

Managing your own emotions, anxieties, and feelings of self-worth gives other people back their lives.
- PsychToday via Twitter

That's it.:) As usual, I have trouble holding together the millions of conflicting fragments that make up my brain. Haha. Have a nice day.:)

Post Vacation

2011-05-17T17:35:00.002+08:00

So here I am, back from my 2nd vacation in the past two weeks. I'd love to be out and about, showing off my lovely new tan. But instead I'm stuck in bed, in a room that won't stop spinning. I think it's a combination of food poisoning (questionable seafood) and dehydration (way too much time spent in the water but not drinking any).

I had an amazing time though. Penang and Langkawi were both breathtakingly beautiful in their own ways. And it was great spending time with loved ones.:)

Will update soon with pictures.:)

Ramblings and Updates

2011-05-05T21:26:00.004+08:00

So sorry about the last sad post, I guess it's just one of those nights. Since then I've come to realize that the people I've let down in the distant past, they've all moved on. I would know, I've been disappointed numerous times in the past couple of years by those I had so much faith in. But that's life, people can surprise you, people can turn out to be completely different from who you thought they were. And that's ok, I've moved on with no lingering hurt or resentment whatsoever, because that's life.:)

But of course I've learned. Friendships are simple really. If you want a friend, you have to be a friend. You can't turn your backs on the people who have done so much for you the moment you get something you want. Well you can, but you can't expect them not to get on with their lives, and let you live yours. You can't show no concern whatsoever then expect the world to fall at your feet when you talk about your problems. You can't treat people badly and expect them to treat you well. You can't say "Oh ma bad, I'm sorry." yet barely lift a finger to make things right and then expect full forgiveness and for everyone to go back to giving you their all. I hate to break it to you, but life just doesn't work that way.

Haha, this is serious stuff to be typing on my little purple phone while curled up in bed. This throbbing neck ache I've been suffering from for the past few days seems to have spread down to my shoulders and up to the back of my head. I just can't figure it out, I've tried everything and it's just not going away, which is such a pain in the neck (haha) because I've got a big weekend coming up and I really want to be feeling my best!

Which reminds me, I have a lot of work to finish up before the weekend as well. I should be taking these few months off, but I like my work, it supports my expensive on-holiday lifestyle. Vacations, good meals and shopping trips don't come cheap. Hoho. Next time I update will be with holiday pictures. Wheeee!

Happy holidays everybody!

Retribution

2011-05-05T00:35:00.001+08:00

I'm not gonna lie. There are days when it's not easy being me. When I put on my shoes and feel like I'm walking in someone else's, someone much more deserving than I am. When my late blooming conscience struggles to catch up with all the mistakes of my past.

There are bad people, people who care only about their own happiness, often at the expense of others. Then there are good people, people who are born knowing how not to hurt others.

When you make the transition from one to the other, how do you shake off the memories of all the wrongs you can't make right?

Royal Wedding Insanity

2011-04-30T00:27:00.002+08:00

Boyfriend:

"Why are they all in the same Rolls Royce? Does the same car go back and forth or something?"

"That's Prince William?! How old is he?! 29?? No way! That guy looks like, forty! William is the guy in the blue uniform! What do you mean that's Harry, the guy in red is balding! That must be his dad or something!"

"Isn't this the part where the jealous little sister rips Kate's dress and exposes her buttocks to the world?"

"Hahaha look! It's a Chinese boy! A Chinese boy in the choir!"

"They're Jews, the royal family, didn't you know?"

"This is so boring. You know what would be great? If the queen started breakdancing. Hahahaha! That would be awesome!"

Mom:

"The flowers look a bit dry. For jie's (that's me) wedding we'll have much nicer flowers, bigger and fresher!"

"Jean, Jean, watch what Kate's sister is doing! Make sure you don't screw up when it's your turn to hold Jie's train!"

Jean:

*puts on tacky plastic tiara*

It was beautiful. Loved the dress, of course. But I also really liked Pippa's dress! A white gown for the bridesmaid? Pretty unusual but absolutely stunning.:)

Sephora Soft Launch

2011-04-30T00:01:00.006+08:00

New Layout

2011-04-27T01:41:00.008+08:00

So I've fixed up this blog a little bit, made things a bit simpler, a bit easier to navigate. I've contemplated shutting it down many times. It's so messy, so disorganized. It has no real point to it. Do people even blog anymore? All the people I started blogging with have long since moved on to Twitter, Tumblr or regular old Facebook status updates.

But I don't see this blog as a "Hi guys, I'm having lunch right now." sort of space. I mean sure, there are plenty of silly clubbing pictures and pointless posts. But tucked in between are words that are just filled with raw emotions. Despite the fact that I write, all the time, some of these short, encoded ramblings probably make up the small percentage of words that are truly honest. It's not easy erasing all of that.

Then again, it's not easy looking back at how much things have changed. It's something that shocks us all the time, even though it's the only consistent thing in life- change. But I'm keeping this, all of this. Because I believe it's your past that shapes the person that you are today. I believe that if people want to walk out of your life, you let them go and wish them nothing but good luck on their journey ahead. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that you just have to do your very best, accept your mistakes and eventually everything will work out for the best.

Hah. It's amazing how much I've changed. And how much I've stayed the same.

C'est La Vie

2011-04-23T02:21:00.002+08:00

One of the best things about dating a movie buff is that he's great help when it comes to catching up with all the awesome movies you missed out on during the years you lived in media forsaken China. Oh how my life has been changed by the likes of Bubble Boy, Billy Madison and Tommy Boy!

Great movies, great books and good food. That's what I choose to focus on in life instead of heartaches and disappointments. Positive psychology, ladies and gentlemen.:)

Exams will be over tomorrow, so hopefully the next few months will be nothing short of amazing! In the meantime, here are a few suggestions!

1. Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I swear to god these books had me immobilized in bed, literally ignoring piles of work and phone messages as I devoured the pages for hours on end.

2. Vintage make-up week on lisaeldridge.com, the videos of her interview sessions with Madeleine Marsh are amazing! History of women and make up. Believe me, it's a must-watch.

3. How I Met Your Mother. Nuff said.

4. Macarons from Molten Lava at 1Utama. Crazy. Shit.

You know what else is crazy shit? My iPhone correcting macarons to laxatives resulting in me proudly announcing that I had some purging medication that was "so yummyyyy!"

So yeah, those are my suggestions. For what exactly? Amazing must-reads, must-eats and must-watches? I don't know. And I don't care. Just enjoy.:)

2011-04-17T19:21:00.001+08:00

I hear about it all the time, people dropping their dreams in favor of love. Giving up university in favor of marriage, giving up on an overseas education in order to stay with their significant other. While I admire their conviction, it's something I'd never be able to do.

It's not because my relationship means less to me than theirs do to them. Nor is it a course taken out of fear and uncertainty, although of course big sacrifices always come at a huge risk.

It's simply because you can never give someone your heart, your whole heart, if pieces of it still lie amongst broken dreams.

So don't be quick to judge the depths of my love, and don't feel sorry for me either. I'm just lucky to have found someone who understands me, and has had my back every step of the way.

And I truly believe, that if you're strong, and you're brave, the world will eventually find a way to give you everything you want... and more.

Pre-Exam De-stress?

2011-04-14T13:19:00.001+08:00

I have too many pictures and I'm just way to lazy to upload them all, so I figured I'd toss a few in this one thingy (iPhone app as usual) haha. Whatever.

Chilling with my best friend San.:) She has this amazing wall covered with writing, it's so beautiful. I miss high school, we used to just sit around talking for hours and hours. Learning my ass. Hahaha.

Went for my first massage with Lil Ash the other day. My masseuse kept burping REALLy loudly and Small kept shouting out "I heard that Lav!" Not me this time Small. -.-

Have been stuffing my face a lot too. So many HUGE meals with boyfriend and friends since parents are in Hong Kong for the week. :):):)

And it was Brother's birthday yesterday. Happy birthday brother! Red velvet from Whisk, best fucking cake in the universe. Been stuffing myself senseless!

This is a really badly written post. Haha. Guess I haven't been doing anything productive, been having too much fun. It was really just what I needed and I'm so lucky to have such amazing people in my life who never fail to pull me out of a slump.

But finals are next week so it's back to hitting the books! Good luck everybody!

Thank you

2011-04-08T23:36:00.002+08:00

For 5 amazing years.

Happy Anniversary.

I love you.:)

Cause and Effect

2011-04-04T03:23:00.001+08:00

The consequences you face, are the result of the choices you make. This isn't about karma. It's not about the universe conspiring against you. Nor is it about any sort of divine lesson from god. It's simple cause and effect.

The sooner you realize that, the sooner you take responsibility for your mistakes. That's the first step to fixing anything.

MISSING

2011-03-28T23:04:00.002+08:00

I don't know how it happened, I don't know where it went, but after repeatedly opening this page and flipping through my notebook, I've come to the realization that I've lost something that was such an essential part of me. I've lost my words. Articles, essays, every single one is as difficult as drawing blood. The thoughts in my head are all jumbled up, barely coherent. I open my mouth to say something and just couldn't find the right word. It's not even difficult, poetic words that I lose. It's simple words. Nouns. Verbs.

I also seem to have lost my way. All the drive and passion has ebbed out of me and now I'm just exhausted all the time. I pile unfinished work onto my desk then pull the covers over my head and go to sleep. I don't know when this happened, but all the things I'm doing, all the things I used to think were getting me on the right track, now seem so pointless. So irrelevant. I'm haunted by the urge to drop it all and go in search of something I'd recognize as meaningful even through this mist of confusion. But then all this was meaningful at one point, how am I to be sure that they won't be meaningful again?

All this. It's all meaningless babble. If I didn't know better I'd think I was robbed, of my words, of my enthusiasm. As it is I could only sleep and hope it all comes back in the absence of exhaustion.

Small Stuff's 20th!

2011-03-25T00:54:00.004+08:00

So at the beginning of this month, my tiny little best friend joined me in being the scarily old age of 20. It was a crazily awesome night, the details of which I'm unwilling to divulge on this uncomfortably public blog. Let's just say there's a first for everything and a life with these guys is never short of adventure.:)

Silly boyfriend.-_-

Lalala getting ready pretty makeup lalala....

Then trotted off to Movida in Sunway Giza. I apologize for all the closed eyes. The club was dark so my brilliant camera overcompensated with the crazy bright flash.

You were there for me from the start. When you didn't have to be, when you weren't close enough to me to warrant caring so much. But you did, because you're one of the very few genuinely nice people left in the world. I love you tinsy, and I hope you had a great time.:)

More Random Crap

2011-03-08T21:28:00.000+08:00

I apologize for the lack of substantial posts, I have been so insanely exhausted. I try so hard to keep a balance in my life. So on Thursday night, I stayed up till 6am working on my assignments. Then on Friday night, I stayed up till 6am partying. Haha. I was feeling so dejected and frustrated and just downright pissed at myself for all the things I couldn't do or forgot to do. But I stayed up till 3am again last night, sorting things out, reorganizing my To-do list and my planner, etc. And now I'm back on track, bitches.:)

Here are a few random pictures I already saved in my draft. Will update properly on my 20th birthday and Ash's 20th birthday (last Friday, amazing night!) some other time.:)

Lizzie's birthday!

Valentines Day

I'm not a big fan of the whole commercialized concept but I figured hey, it's as good a day as any. So I made red velvet cupcakes and cooked a meal (kang kung belacan and lemon chicken!) just for fun.:) I is Masterchef!

Gel Liners!

My current favorite item of makeup. The top one is a gorgeous navy one from Topshop, random present from Lil Ash.:) And the Bobbi Brown one is a little gift to myself this one weekend when I was feeling overworked and in need of a little self reward.

Without a doubt THE most amazing liner ever.:)

Yeah, that's about it for now. Haha. Bye.:)

2011-03-04T03:18:00.001+08:00

Just when I thought I had it all under control, I find myself completely buried. This sucks so bad. I just want to curl up into a little ball and sleep for a million years.

Current Favorite Song

2011-02-24T21:42:00.000+08:00

2011-02-21T01:19:00.001+08:00

“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything it is because we are dangerously near wanting nothing.”

— Sylvia Plath (via vild)

Short

2011-02-21T01:02:00.001+08:00

People are going to fall short of expectations. That's the way life is. So love yourself, respect yourself, always put yourself first, never make more effort for anyone else than you would make for yourself. Because when you hit rock bottom, they would be either unwilling or unable to help you out. You're all you can truly count on.

Don't let yourself down.

Singapore Real Estate Website

2011-02-15T00:45:00.003+08:00

It never fails to surprise me how easy everything is these days, something as tedious as property hunting can be made so much easier with a well designed, user friendly website! For those of you looking to rent or purchase property in Singapore, then you might want to visit PropWall Singapore.

This is probably one of the most attractive search/ property sites I've stumbled upon. The layout is nice, simple and easy to navigate, which is a massive plus! So many websites these days are just way too cluttered. Everything on PropWall is neatly organized into categories, making it so much easier to find what you're looking for. It also lists top properties on the home page to give you some helpful hints if you're a little confused about where to start!

It's not just the overall site that's well organized, even the information in each listing is tidy and detailed with sub-sections! They provide plenty of details about the property and even include an objective analysis! Though I must say they seem to be a little short of pictures in some of the listings. A few more pictures would really be helpful for those in search of property for rent or purchase.

All in all, definitely a helpful website that is worth visiting. Those looking to buy or rent in Singapore, check out PropWall Singapore to make your search so much easier!

Love

2011-02-13T01:12:00.001+08:00

So I haven't had much time lately, have taken on a research assistant position on top of my writing job and the 4 subjects in uni with lecturers that never stop piling on the work.:(

Thank goodness for friends and the boyfriend who live so close by so I can squeeze in some down time at least. And even so they're always such last minute plans. Haha. I just don't have it in me to brave the LDP jams anymore, I can barely stay awake throughout the day as it is! And if Ash doesn't stop taking pics of me sleeping I may have to break her tiny little neck.:)

Next week, I'll try my best to make time for the ones I love who live a little too far away. I wish so hard every day for a teleporting machine. I think I'd be so much less of a neglectful friend if I just had one of those. Haha.

But I can't thank you guys enough for all the love and support. For being there to help me out when fatigue turns me into a useless zombie. For having all the patience in the world when I forget to reply texts, lose things, walk into parked cars, etc etc. And of course for always, always having so much faith in me.

I have so much more than I deserve.

CNY!

2011-02-04T12:57:00.001+08:00

1. That's a picture of my puppies receiving their angpaus from parents. Hahaha. Furkids!

2. It's Chinese new year! Happy Chinese new year everyone!

3. Why do 2 Chinese parents not make a caucasian baby?

Cause 2 Wongs don't make a white!

Hahahahaha! I so fah-née.

4. As you can see, my optimism has returned. There's too much laughter in my life to stay cranky for more than a couple of hours.:)

5. Ate sooooo much at reunion dinner.
Cousin: Are you trying to get fatter?
Me: Huh? Whaa?? No.
Cousin: But there's SO much food on your plate!!

6. Cousin: Dad, 5 boys in school confessed that they like me!
Uncle: Tell those 5 boys your dad is going to kick their asses.

7. I'm so embarrassed of you. Just grow the fuck up. How long do you expect your excuses to save you from yourself?

8. I'm currently in Kelantan. Stopped by McD's and received glares for my shorts. Hahaha.

9. The food here is so good!

10. CNY is exhausting, but surprisingly able to do more work than some people who shouldn't be celebrating anything. Lazy assholes piss me off.

Haha this post is all over the place. Just like I am. Hope you guys are having a good holiday!!:)

2011-01-30T17:58:00.001+08:00

Currently curled up in bed with what feels like the beginning of a raging fever. I am most definitely not a happy camper.

The week has been oddly stressful for me, I thought it was the workload but this being the beginning of the semester, that makes no sense. I suppose it's the lack of a challenge in both work and academics. Does that make sense? That boredom stresses me out? I guess with no excitement everything feels like so much more, well, work.

I've also been dealing with the realization that some things you just cannot mend. No matter what, there is no way to turn back time, no such thing as a fresh start. This really is the best case scenario, because although I've forgiven, I will never forget.

I don't know where my optimism has gone. I'm still looking for it, in beautiful pictures and beautiful words. Maybe next week will be better.:)

Morib 2011

2011-01-30T11:57:00.012+08:00

Another road trip with the boyfriend, this time to Morib which is, strangely enough still in Selangor. It took us so long to find the place, but it really was a beautiful place. I'll just let the pictures do the talking.:)

2011-01-28T10:32:00.001+08:00

People like to write unwillingness off as inability, and they go on thinking that nobody sees through them. Something being difficult or challenging is not good enough reason give up. Do you think your excuses protect you? Of course not! People will still think you're lazy, unmotivated and at best, just plain stupid.

And on a similar note, ignorance doesn't make a person blameless either. Pretending you don't know what you did wrong doesn't make you guilt-free. So stop "trying" to understand what you did because the fact is, you've known it all long ago but refuse to take the hard path, which is to admit your mistakes.

I used to wonder why so many people are so stupid. But the truth is, stupidity is just a shield they wear to tell the world "I tried, don't hold it against me if I fail."

Do or do not, there is no try.

- Master Yoda

<3

2011-01-16T23:40:00.001+08:00

Last night was a massive surprise.:) Thank you so much guys, it was great seeing all my best friends in one place. I know how busy most of you are, you guys are so sweet.:)

:)

2011-01-14T22:13:00.005+08:00

Just some pictures and a few captions. I don't take many unless we're doing stupid things, but hopefully that would change now that I have my new iPhone haha.

At the 100 Yen store after dinner with Eug and Arunn. I freaking love that place! They have the weirdest things!

Went to some Jap products sale at Cititel with Smagnes and got a lot of face masks (at bargain prices!) then came home and had a little home spa day. Haha. Put a Lush bath ballistic to good use, it's quite a shame that they just sit there all stacked up in my bathroom cabinet smelling good.

Jacuzzi! Just our feet cause we're not lesbians.-_-

Bubbles!

Face masks!

It looks a lot more peaceful in the pictures. But nothing is quiet with dogs, siblings and cousins in the house! Trotting around making noise, playing with bubbles, etc. Haha. I love my home, it's like living with the circus.

Flea What? Bazaar at Global Business Park in PJ with Lil Ash and Lil Jia Yin. It was actually pretty good! Would have blown a lot of cash if I wasn't on a shopping ban! Ended the day with conversations over scones, tea and little sandwiches. <3

Lunch in OU, shopping then off to Whisk at Empire for the most amazing red velvet ever. Love food and shopping days with my Sandy we really know how to enjoy life! Lol!

Ate a shit load when my bestie Lauren was here too but we were too busy stuffing our faces and bitching to take pictures. Haha! I miss you.:( I can't believe you had to go so soon.:(

Enjoying classes so far. Surprisingly fascinated by Career Guidance.:) More updates soon. Hope you guys are having a great 2011!

3 Things I Learned in 2011

2011-01-14T02:42:00.001+08:00

1. Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss. There are things you'd be so much happier not knowing, not hearing about.

2. Accept things for what they are, right here right now. Not for what they were in the past, or what you hope for them to be in the future. Because the present is the only reality.

3. It's so easy to focus on the negative. So easy for one little piece of bad news or unsavory information to ruin an otherwise perfect day. But that doesn't mean you give in to it. The phone is an amazing tool, and there are so many comforting ears ready and waiting on the other side.

Life is a learning process? No shit.:)

Updates

2011-01-12T00:55:00.001+08:00

So it's back to classes again. I've grown weary of this place with its insane traffic, crazy high parking rates and less than inspiring environment. As much as I'm going to miss everyone, I can't help looking forward to a campus life. It's sad but a 7-floor 24/7 library sounds so appealing to me. Nerd at heart. Haha.

The holidays have been good, quality time spent with the people I love.:) Pictures in the next post, because beautiful people should always be seen. Haha. I'm talking about my friends, of course.

I've also been thinking a bit about materialism. It's strange, it's something I struggle against all the time. Because so many people are too drawn in and I don't ever want to be one of those people who revolve their lives around things. But it seems to me the less I focus on wanting things, the more beautiful things seem to find their way to me. I'm so blessed. In a million and one ways.:)

Only downside to the start of 2011 is poor boyfriend getting shingles. Looks like I've stolen all his luck for the new year. But silly Pushing Daisies moments simply serve to remind me that I'll never find anyone like you. Get well soon.:)

NYE in good company

2011-01-08T01:00:00.010+08:00

I had an amazing NYE this year, as usual.:) Except this one wasn't spent with the family. My insane parents trotted off to a 70s themed party clad in leopard print and little polka dots. Haha. It was hell deciding what to do and ended up with an extremely last minute plan to have a BBQ at home.

For something pulled together last minute, it turned out amazingly well thanks to my lovely friends who really know how to make a party work! Shit load of food, shit load of alcohol, shit load of silly conversations and toasts to absolutely everything from resolutions, hopes for the new year and even my little sister's crush from back when she was 9. Wtf.

Joey! Life of the party! Hahaha.

Our first NYE together after, what 7 years of friendship? Haha! I love you.:)

Lol Pal looks completely chilled out about his hair getting set on fire.

My little ray of sunshine!

New beginnings aside, the fact that you've been here unconditionally, unwaveringly, from the start. It means everything.

Thug life!

Selvarajooooo and Eufegeniah! You guys know how much you rock. Especially for all your efforts in making it to my place that night. Haha. Sign of true friendship eh?

Group photo!

2010 has been good to us. Not just averagely good, but insanely, unbelievably, amazingly good. Here's to falling in love. Over and over again.

2011 started off with big, loud fireworks! Found a massive one under the fish food cause we're chinese like that. Haha! It was so beautiful people from across the road came out of their houses to watch and applauded when it was over!

Ended the night (and started the new year) dancing with my best friend to old songs from a little blue radio.

It's official.

2011 is going to be my bitch.

2011-01-06T02:08:00.000+08:00

"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident."

— Louis de Bernières (via quote-book)

The saddest thing

2011-01-06T02:02:00.000+08:00

Resolution

2011-01-01T04:17:00.001+08:00

Still oddly energetic from an amazing night, I picked up a book to help me fall asleep. And the first page just jumped out at me.

Maybe. Just maybe.

Past

2010-12-30T21:38:00.001+08:00

It's amazing how quickly time flies. I feel like a child, desperately trying to hold on to a fist full of sand as the grains slip through my clumsy fingers. That's exactly how 2010 was to me. Too fast, too fleeting. And I found myself sleeping so much less, feeling so much more frantic.

But in retrospect, it's been a pretty good year. I can look back on it and feel proud of my achievements. I don't think I've ever worked so hard in my life. I don't think I've ever ended a year without thinking "I'll try harder next year." because I truly gave it my all this time round and no matter what the outcome, I'm satisfied.:)

The year also gave me a clearer view. I thought this year was going to be easier. I thought I had found my circle of immunity and there would be no more losses. But as usual, I was wrong. People change, all the time. Sometimes you're a part of that change, and it's great, it's fun, it's exciting. And other times, you're the cast off. The unimportant aspect nobody thought to hold on to as they get caught up in the whirlwind of rose-tinted delusions.

That's sad. But I'm grateful for the clarity. I'm grateful to have realized who my true friends are. The people who sincerely care about me as a person instead of a mere extension of themselves.

I have such an amazing collection of wonderful memories with these friends. With my crazy family. With the best boyfriend any girl could ask for. Thank you all for your unwavering support, for loving me even at times when I couldn't love myself.

Happy new year everybody. May the new year bring you the most amazing achievements and an endless supply of unconditional love.:)

2010-12-29T01:42:00.001+08:00

It hurts so much, every time it hits me. All the love I'll be walking away from. In the pursuit of something which, upon questioning, yields no logical reasoning. I wonder if it makes more sense to the million other people who have done this, who are doing this right now. I wonder if this is easier for them.

I don't know why I have to go. But I have to go.

Day 04- A habit you wish you didn't have.

2010-12-27T12:13:00.001+08:00

Oh that's easy, I wish I could stop being late all the damned time. I'm sick of rushing and panting with my hair flying like crazy and random belongings shoved hastily into my poor, abused bag.

I'm working on it.:)

On a brighter note, I have a gorgeous new bag from shopping yesterday! Woohoo!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-26T21:44:00.001+08:00

Hey everybody, I hope you guys had as great a Christmas as I did.:) Mine consisted of insane amounts of food, beautiful decorations, and quality time spent with the family and the boyfriend. Then boxing day was spent with San indulging ourselves in retail therapy!

I use the term therapy lightly because that's just about the last thing we need at the moment. Haha.

I'm glad finals are over, but sadly that doesn't mean the workload is lifted. Just that I'll be shifting my focus from uni to work for awhile. Lol. But last term was a good term. I worked hard and I'm not going to beat myself up for being less than perfect.

I'm looking forward to 2011.:) Reminiscent post upcoming, as expected. Merry Christmas and happy new year everyone!

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

2010-12-23T01:15:00.004+08:00

Ash's 19th Birthday.

"Girls will be your friends- they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything- they're your true best friends."

Marilyn Monroe

Day 02- The Meaning Behind Your Tumblr Name

2010-12-20T21:47:00.001+08:00

I don't actually have a tumblr, so this doesn't really apply.

As for ShadeOfPurple, that's simple enough. Lavender is a Shade of Purple.

Haha.

Day 01- A recent picture of yourself and 15 interesting facts about you

2010-12-20T03:44:00.001+08:00

Probably not the most recent picture but yeah.:) that's me with my furry best friend.

Now on to the the 15 interesting facts.

1. I'm a Psychology student. Is that interesting enough? I don't think so, but it sure receives some pretty strange reactions. No I can't read your mind, and even if I could I wouldn't want to. You look stupid. Now shut up and fuck off.

2. I'm not as dumb as I look. I think I've proven that enough in recent years but it's funny how new acquaintances tend to jump to that conclusion. I don't get it, am I slack-jawed or something?

3. I have 2 massive dogs. A Great Dane and a Labrador. You'd think someone as small as I am would have a fluffy, yappy little creature. But I love my Liz and Joe to bits and pieces, sometimes I love them more than a lot of people. They live in the house, eat in the kitchen and sleep upstairs. They're like furry humans, only better.

4. I am as disproportionate as a person possibly could be without being disabled. My head is way too big for my body, my arms are way too short for the rest of me and my right arm is significantly longer than my left. I bet you have an image of a mutant in your head right now. Hohoho.

5. I have baby hands. They're short, chubby and look like they've never worked a day in their lives. Which is completely untrue, they just bounce back easily. No matter how much I put them through, hand cream is still the last thing I need. It makes me wonder what they'd look like at 80. Would my hands be the only unwrinkled part of me? God that would be freaky.

6. I used to think I was horrible at friendships, because I failed at so many of them. But then I looked at the friends I still have and they're such amazing people with so much strength in character and such an enormous capacity to love. So I guess I don't suck all that much.:)

7. Unmotivated people annoy me. If you've been a reader of this blog for long enough you'd probably have read enough rants about underachieving freeloaders. I don't get it, how do you live like that? Dragging your lazy ass from day to day?

8. Dependent people annoy me, too. People who can never do anything alone. People that become so pathetically attached to another that when that person is out of town all they can do is sit home and organize their sock drawer. Hah. Nice life you have there.

9. Insomnia makes me cranky, as you can see.

10. The only thing that helps me sleep now is a subliminal message hypnotism video on my iPhone. It's supposed to make me a tidier, more organized person. Shut up, I'm a Psychology student, we're into shit like these.

11. I'm dating one of the most amazing people in the world.:)

12. We've been together for over 4 years. It comes as a bit of a shock, even to ourselves. But we've been through a shit load together. Seriously, unless you've been there from the start, you have absolutely no idea. And even so, what you see only scratches the surface. So don't come to me with your months-old relationships and try to pretend you know better. It makes me laugh.

13. I'm going to live in Hong Kong one day. And Japan. And Paris. And about a million other places. And I'm not just saying, I'm going to do it. Watch me.:)

14. I change all the time. My style, my taste, my mind. If you're close enough you'd be used to it. If you're baffled, then we're probably not as close and you'd like to think we are.

15. I'm extremely disappointed that my best friend still isn't home yet. I have her present perched on my desk, it was supposed to be driven over in the evening. Fucking London weather. Stay warm and hopefully see you tomorrow!:(

So there you have it, 15-probably-not-as-interesting-as-they-should-be facts. Haha. Good night, world.

Tumble 30 Day Challenge

2010-12-20T01:10:00.001+08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then? Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30- Who are you?

Saw this on Tumblr and figured, why not? Questions that make you think. Don't expect 30 days straight though, I'm flighty like that.:)

Loved

2010-12-14T03:59:00.001+08:00

It's funny how one event can pan out in so many different ways.

Someone I know recently went through something I've been through not long ago. I came out of it with so much excitement and self assurance. I came out of it feeling so loved and so supported.

This person came out of it with turbulent emotions, nerve-wrecking self-doubt and a compulsion to avoid scrutiny at all cost.

It's things like these that make me appreciate the people in my life. The boyfriend I spent my turbulent teenage years with, whose patience and support has been the cushion for so many of my hardest falls. The best friends who have accepted so much of me that is far from perfect, loved me nonetheless, and never failed to share in my joy.

It makes me feel so fortunate. And so sorry for this poor soul. But the fact remains that I had extended a hand many times.

The people you have are the choices you make.

Colors

2010-12-14T00:31:00.001+08:00

I'm excitedly awaiting the arrival of a couple of 120 palettes I bought online. 1 for myself and 1 for my little ray of sunshine, who happens to be the latest addition to the Emmagem team!! Fun stuff. Sadly I'll be missing our first joint assignment due to bloody finals.:(

Can't wait for exams to be overrrr. So much to look forward to! Roadtrips with the boyfriend, shopping with my babes, baking, writing... Lalala.

Ok off to do more cramming now.:)

Misery loves company

2010-12-08T00:14:00.001+08:00

There was a point when I thought happiness had literally gone out of style. I was surrounded by so much negativity. Constant utterance of the phrases "Life sucks." and "Fuck the world." A seemingly desperate need for drama and tears. A strange race to see who had more shit on their plate to deal with.

And then I found beautiful photographs. I found bright eyeshadows and full skirts. I found inspiring quotes and wonderful words and writing that paints pictures. I found people who read The Secret and write in gratitude diaries and carried Polaroid cameras around and took pictures of their friends laughing.

In other words, I found the other half of the population. The happier half. And I'm so glad to be a part of it.

2010-12-07T02:21:00.001+08:00

It's 2am and I've just set the books aside for another night. I hate exams. Exams mean long nights and deteriorating health. I think my nose is about to fall off from this cold and my throat has never been so swollen.

It took me awhile to realize because I'm slow like that, but I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with my blog comments. All anonymous comments get sent to my email inbox under the heading of an irrelevant post and then disappear.

To the person who commented this morning (I think??) to my last post (I think??), I think if you can't arrive at a conclusion and you're not sure if you've done enough, then you probably haven't.

Man that's a lot of "I thinks" in that paragraph.

Anyway, maybe you shy people out there can comment with a fake name or something? Because I've been getting quite confused with my anonymous comments. I was starting to think that the world is full of idiots because people keep saying/asking philosophical things under a picture of my bf and I outside a club.:s

So yeah. I'm sorry for thinking you're all stupid and I've attached a Tumblr picture as an apology.:) Because Tumblr pictures make the world a better place.:)

Fight until you can't fight anymore, and then be fought for.

2010-12-06T00:00:00.001+08:00

You can fight, you can talk until you're hoarse, you can be angry and resentful. But it comes to a point where you just have to let go and know that you've done your best.

So for those of you who fought hard and received little, seriously, just let it go. You can sleep easy. Because in a world where appreciation is never guaranteed, effort is all you have. For those of you who refused to lift a finger, I feel sorry for you. One day you'll look back and realize that all you have left are the things that came easy.

And remember, nothing worth fighting for ever came easy.

Happy Birthday!

2010-12-05T13:01:00.001+08:00

Another belated birthday post for.:) This one for my partner in crime. We've been through a shit load together. You're one of the very few in my circle of immunity. No matter what happens, no matter how crazy the world gets, I will always love you. And I will always have your back.

Come back soon ok? We'll have the best celebration ever!

Dreams

2010-11-29T21:44:00.002+08:00

It's probably one of the lesser known facts about me. That I used to dance, I used to dance all the time. And what I wanted more than anything else in the world was to be a ballerina. Even today, I gravitate towards this very shade of pink. I have little ballerina figurines on top of my piano, broken dreams on top of broken dreams.

That's life. Love dies, passion dies, dreams die. But you don't. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and never, ever give up searching. Because without goals and dreams, you're barely living.

Collage

2010-11-28T16:21:00.005+08:00

Wedding photography has gone a long way since my parents's god awful collection of stiff, frozen shots. Lol. I particularly love the second one. Malacca if I'm not mistaken.:)

I really am. My friends laugh a lot when I say that (except my little ray of sunshine *points at pic below*) but it's true. Not better in the sense of being nicer though, because friendly people are not always good people, most often they're quite the opposite.

Topshop fashion show. Quite a few more pics but I only had time to upload this one.:)

A picture from Loreal Paris's press release. Despite the stacks and stacks of press releases I have to go through, I still find the time to marvel at these amazing photographs. They make me want to drop everything and become a make-up artist.

I'm so prone to pessimism, but the lovely people and beautiful things in my life never fail to pull me out of it.:)

You can run but you can't hide

2010-11-12T01:15:00.001+08:00

There is nothing in this world more disappointing than people.

People that latch on only when it's convenient, and are out the door as soon as it's not.

People that you vouched for time and time again, putting your efforts to waste when their true pretentious natures are revealed.

I have never been one to hold on. Never one to return a false smile. You can say what you want to everyone else, but I caught a glimpse when that mask slipped, I caught a glimpse of what was underneath.

How long do you think it'll take, before they start seeing what I see?

A little late

2010-11-12T01:07:00.001+08:00

So many friendships I've walked out on, but they'll have to drag my cold, lifeless corpse out of this one.

I love you Sandra Chong.

Happy 19th.:)

Quick Update

2010-11-04T22:51:00.005+08:00

Absolutely in love with Modestarr and my gorgeous new top.:)

Check out the feature I wrote here. Seriously the most amazing boutique ever!

Runway 101 Finale

Had tons of fun with my little photographer.:) Read my event cover here.

Random weekend with besties...

Hootina's birthday!

Agnes's surprise party!

Just thought this space needed a few pics.:)

2010-10-28T00:04:00.001+08:00

This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.
—
Marilyn Monroe

2010-10-25T23:39:00.001+08:00

Good relationships balance over time. This means that at any particular point in time, the relationship may appear quite unbalanced: One partner may be more nurturing; one may be more needy; one may be providing all the financial support, etc. But if both partners are loving, understanding, giving, dedicated and flexible, then the relationship can handle all kinds of ups and downs, and still be strong, exciting and, yes, romantic. The best relationships are well balanced. Not a delicate balance; not a static balance- but a dynamic ever-changing balance.
—
Gregory Godek

Die Bitch Die.

2010-10-24T00:20:00.001+08:00

Self improvement is never easy, I suppose. For someone like me whose behavior has always been wrongly reinforced.

But I've been trying. It's a long journey and right now, I have yet to master the art of forgiveness. Yet to be able to accept stupidity, arrogance and pretenses. Yet to be able to talk to the object of my anger (and sometimes those around said object) without displaying that anger in every word, every move.

One day, I want to be able to say that I've accepted people for who they are, no matter how much crap they're full of. But not today.

Today, I want to slap you across the face every single fucking time I hear you say a fucking word.

And believe me, I'm not the only one.

That is all.:)
Good night, world.:)

Toyota Cars Reviews

2010-10-18T19:01:00.003+08:00

It was in the 50s when Toyota first ventured out of the Asian market and into the difficult American market. Despite all prejudices against Asian products, Toyota has emerged successful. Until today, their cars are renowned worldwide for their high quality and large variety of designs.

Are you a fan of Toyota? Perhaps you're having trouble choosing between the Avanza, Harrier, Camry or any other bestselling Toyota cars? Or maybe you're already a proud owner of a Toyota and simply would like a bit more information on the brand?

A great website for you to visit would be Toyota Cars Reviews.

It's a simple and well designed page which starts off with some information on Toyota's history. Certainly an interesting read with bits of facts that most of us don't know. It links out to several other car-related pages too incase you're interested!

Scroll down and you'll find headings such as Top Toyota Car Models, Toyota Car News, Toyota Car Blogs and even a comment section titled Let's Talk About Toyota Cars. Under each heading is a list of links with short descriptions of what the links contain. A great way of organizing the links as it's easy to find exactly what you're looking for!

All in all, a very useful website for a Toyota enthusiast or potential Toyota driver. An attractive, well designed page that gives you all the information you need in an easy to navigate format!

Mistakes

2010-10-09T22:53:00.001+08:00

"The karmic philosophy appeals to me on a metaphorical level because even in one lifetime it's obvious how often we may repeat our same mistakes, banging our heads against the same old addictions and compulsions, generating the same old miserable and often catastrophic consequences, until we can finally stop and fix it. This is the supreme lesson of karma- take care of the problems now, or else you'll just have to suffer again later when you screw everything up the next time."

- Eat Pray Love-

"I was married, once. I married the first man I truly loved. Thought we had this whole fairy tale thing going on. It was, he was amazing. We were amazing. And then he did something, something stupid and thoughtless and mean. Kinda something I was not willing to forgive. So I left him and I left him behind and I went on and I live this whole other life now. And It’s good, it’s fine, I have a great guy, a doctor, my life is damn near perfect. But every once in a while I think about that guy and the fairy tale thing we had. I wonder if we’d still be amazing if we were together now. And I’ll never know. Cause the minute it got hard, the minute it stopped being a fairytale, I cut and ran. Real life is hard, real stuff takes work. Real life is sometimes heartless and mean. But that doesn’t cancel out the love. So if you don’t love this girl, walk away. But if you look at her and you know she’s the one, you owe it to yourself to give her a second chance."

- Private Practice-

Words

2010-10-04T01:27:00.001+08:00

I open this app on my iPhone every so often, in search of words to describe everything that's been going on. It's not easy, some words just don't fit, some words sound far too resentful and some words are just plain offensive.

So I fall back on the sensible option. It's simple, really. Don't try to describe things you haven't got the right words for.

Aside from that, the car is in the workshop again. I don't know when I turned into such a restless, agitated person. I used to be able to sit and daydream for hours. Now I can't even wait in a line without whipping out my phone to type out an article, or take a shower without a book propped up behind the shampoo bottles, or, worst yet, drive in traffic without attempting to play a game on my iPhone. Not that I mentioned that last part to the parents of course, that would certainly drive them batshit crazy. Have already gotten a million mental bitch slaps from those who do know.:(

I've also been really busy this semester, workload wise. 5 subjects with my writing job piled on top. It feels like there is always an assignment or article/newsletter due. I've never been a multitasker, but I'm doing things I love and it's fulfilling. I've pretty much forgotten what it was like to be an underachiever and that's been great for my self esteem. Friends and family have been so supportive and helpful and I just can't thank them enough.

And finally, one of my oldest and dearest friends left recently, to further her studies in a land far far away. We've been through a lot together, we've had our fair share of ups and downs. But at the end of the day, she's my partner in crime. I'm an emotional cripple, but she knows that when I say "Have fun on the plane with the giant baby!" I really meant "I miss you already."

So that's about it.:) This space has become more of a writing outlet than an actual blog. Maybe I prefer it that way.:)

Blind

2010-09-29T08:31:00.001+08:00

Character judgment is undoubtedly one of my shortcomings. Thinking back on all the people I have judged wrongly literally gives me a jolt of shock.

Do people really change? Is that why they become someone you don't know anymore? Is that why they start doing things you never thought they would, never thought they were capable of?

And as one by one, the faces I thought familiar distorted to display their ugly sides, I still didn't learn. I learnt nothing about people, nothing about friends, nothing about building walls.

But I'm beginning to.

:)

2010-09-20T01:51:00.002+08:00

I'm bored.

A pic from Merdeka eve at Mist. There are a couple more but i can only upload one per post using blogwriter for iPhone I think.:)

It was fun. Met some really nice people and dancing to patriotic songs was hilarious.

More updates soon. Maybe.

Whirlwind

2010-08-21T03:02:00.002+08:00

Hey everybody.:)

It's 2.40am and this is the first night in the past couple of weeks that I haven't been able to sleep. I've been so exhausted I just pass out at bed time! Died as soon as I got home today though so maybe that's why. Grr.

So things haven't exactly been great. It's been kinda raining shit lately, for the people I care about. Spent the whole day at the hospital (don't worry it's not me I'm fine) and I'm praying hard. Crossing my fingers so tightly they may just snap off. Life can get a bit tough sometimes but all we can do is keep moving. I did run into someone I know at the hospital. Looks like everyone has problems, eh? Haha.

On a brighter note, I've been loving my new job. Keeping up with the writing has been a bit tough on top of everything else, but it's been lovely. My editor is such a sweet lady and I'm given so much freedom in terms of topics. It's nice not having to stick solely to Beauty and Fashion because there's so much more to life than that you know? I'll post up the link to my articles when I'm not blogging on my iPhone.:)

I'm really, really sorry to the people I've neglected and haven't been there for lately. I promise promise promise to make more effort as soon as I get more time, ok? I'm missing you all a lot and I hope you guys don't hate me.:(

So yeah, just a little update incase any of you are interested.=S Thank you so much to my followers, nearly all of which I don't even know personally and aren't from the country. It's by no means an impressive number or anything but it means a lot to me that there are people out there who are willing to take the time out of their lives to read my pointless little ramblings.

Hope everybody's doing well. More updates when things slow down.:)

Bye bye.:)

Birthdays!

2010-08-19T19:51:00.005+08:00

Birthday celebrations for boyfriend and Eugene at Milk club Bangsar! Friday the 13th boys, gasp! Hoho.

Oddly enough this is the only picture of Eugene. Other than one of his arm on Facebook. The rest are hidden.-_- That sucks Eug, it's your freaking birthday and you hid all your pics?!

L-R: Arunn, Bren, Me, Bf, Anil

With my girls!!! L-R: Shamsy, Lil Ash, Me!

The cake!!

Got them 2 cakes (1 each) but sadly we weren't allowed to eat in the club so Small (Ash) brought only one cake out. They got their faces smashed in it hohoho.

Boyfriend got caked!!

Heh!!!

Inside joke.:)

Then they were made to drink from the bottle hahaha.

Look at me cheering in the background.-_-

Boyfriend was pretty drunk by the end of the night. Lol. Perfect way to celebrate your birthday eh?

Happy birthday BD, I love you with all my heart.

And happy birthday Eugene it sucks that I can't post pics of you but hope you had a good time nonetheless!!

Inflicting

2010-08-12T02:04:00.002+08:00

It is simply too easy, to keep fond memories in our hearts, pain at the back of our minds. To hold on when we should let go, and set ourselves free.

It's just as easy to look high and low for the littlest cracks, when the bigger picture is more beautiful than anyone else could ever hope for. To let go, when we should be holding on for dear life.

Wag & Walk

2010-08-09T00:15:00.004+08:00

Just a few pics from SPCA's Wag & Walk last weekend. Brought Lizzie and Joey. Lizzie won the Waggiest Tail contest! Hehe. I love my furry friends.

Will be updating soon. Pretty occupied with stuff.:)

Search Cars with Car Sifu

2010-07-31T23:18:00.003+08:00

The first thing that struck me about this website is the hilarious site name. Haha Car Sifu, master of cars, eh?

So what this website is is basically a classifieds portal for used cars as well as new ones, if you're looking to purchase a car, this portal is a great way open up your options. If you're look to sell, on the other hand, this would also be the place to get your message out there!

The homepage is simple and basic enough, with a list of car manufacturers (e.g. BMW, Mercedes, Toyota, Honda, etc.) in a column on the right. And right in the middle of the page is a search bar to type in whatever you're looking for. Both these features make it easy for you to narrow down your search. A+ for easy navigation!

Each ad consists of around 4 photographs of the cars from different angles, interior and exterior. This is a great way for buyers to see the condition of the car before going through the trouble of calling the sellers and so on. The ads also include descriptions of the car, location of the car, the year and the asking price. All in all, an average amount of information, not particularly detailed but sufficient to help you narrow down your options.

As for the overall look of the website, it's nice, neat and organized. A very basic layout and a clean white background.

So yeah, those are my evaluations on this website. Useful, easy to navigate, nice layout and sufficient information.:) Looking for a car or trying to sell one? click here now to get started right away!

Genting July 2010

2010-07-30T01:00:00.005+08:00

Just a few pics from Genting trip with bf, Shamsy and Bren last Friday.:) There are tons more on FB, of bf and Bren clowning around and me, well, eating.:S

Loved the weather, loved the company...

loved the world's tallest man's massive chair!!:D:D:D

Fly

2010-07-25T03:41:00.001+08:00

Nothing meant more to me than the few moments alone. After the bus dropped me off from school, a little further than it should. Simply because I lied about where my house was. So I can take my time walking.

Even at the age of 7, I was a pathological liar. Even at the age of 7 I was so desperate to be everywhere else.

I don't remember ever living without this feeling. Like I'm chained and trapped and just so, so frustrated. Like I'm constantly inhibited. Like I'm missing out on so much life has to offer.

Surely I'm not the only one in this situation? Do others in my position feel the way I do?

It's all about perspectives. I tell myself that everyday. Because I have so much while others have to make do with so little. It's so hard to be contented when you hold this bitterness inside of you.

But then again, it's also hard to be contented when those who want what's best for you only seem to hold you back from the amazing lengths you just know you could reach.

Apple Evangelist

2010-07-22T21:28:00.003+08:00

The Nut House

2010-07-17T14:08:00.003+08:00

This is a little video for the family members who read my blog (wello, cousins!) and the readers that know very little about my family. Hahaha.

Just a compilation of all the little clips I have in my iPhone and Mac taken at some point or another. Isn't iMovie amazing?

Will be doing another one with clips of my friends soon. Haha. My friends are as spastic as my family members. So if you meet me one day and wonder why I'm so retarded... well... just remember that the identity of an adolescent is heavily influenced by his/her peers. ;)

Birthdays

2010-07-15T01:01:00.004+08:00

I figured I'd keep this webspace updated a little more frequently now that I've got time on my hands.:)

It was mom's birthday on June 13th. Hehe. Got her 2 gorgeous pairs of earrings and a necklace with pretty pink stones. And a little jewelry stand.:)

We went to WIP in Bangsar for her birthday lunch. That place is amazing, I love it so much. Their sangrias and cocktails are just to die for.:)

The girls and I used to go there for cocktails a lot. Where did our youth go?:( Haha.

Then it was Bren's birthday on July 5th. Bf, Dex and I surprised him at Finnigan's in Bangsar.

He was walking along with Shamsy the evil mastermind. I was the only one in view from the doorway, perched on the barstool with a birthday cake (plus lit candle) in front of me. Took him so long to realize!

He admitted later that he was thinking to himself "Why is that weird girl staring at me?"

Wtf. Haha.

The spastic birthday cake bf and I found at this boutique in Bangsar. Hahahahha. Isn't it so hilariously ridiculous?

And I shall end this post with a drawing Midge (a.k.a little sister Jean) drew of me while I was studying for my exams.

Hahahahha! She's got it so detailed right down to the massive mug of green tea and the paintings propped up at the side!

OK good night world.:)

Am I an Insomniac?

2010-07-14T05:25:00.001+08:00

It's 4.41am. Another sleepless night. I had many consecutive ones all week and a mind numbing exam this afternoon, and yet I'm still wide awake.

It unnerved me to realize that this has been going on for over a year now. Started the few nights sometime last year when I stayed up all night for the first time in my life. Do these things carry on?

Well anyway, I decided I'd blog. Just random stuff because it's far too late to piece my thoughts together.

1. My exams are finally over.:) That means a month and a half of freeeeedom!!! I have yet to think of what to do. I'm still licking my wounds over the shockingly horrible marks I got for a big, important assignment I slaved over.

2. I am so crazy obsessed with green tea. If you've been in my life long enough you'd be well aware of my obsessive tendencies about the most random things. I have been drinking nothing but green tea for the past couple of months. The sight of sugary carbonated drinks makes my liver cringe.

3. I love Bubble Boy. It is a work of pure genius. I live for this kind of insanity. The kind that make you wonder how people's minds work. I bought the VCD and I've watched it 3 times this week!

4. My iPhone is running out of battery but I'm too afraid to charge it because I dropped the plug of my charger into my green tea. Will I get electrocuted and die?

5. Every day I fall in love with my iPhone all over again. It goes from something massive like getting lost in Melacca because the GPS died then finding our way back to the resort with iMap. To something as small and simple as downloading the full version of Freud's Dream Psychology into iBook for free.

6. This holidays, I am going to wear heels. And wedges. And pumps. And basically anything other than the flip flops I've been wearing because I have to run after the bus everyday.

7. There was a formal luncheon for BPscyh freshmen a couple of months ago. I didn't get the memo. Everyone wore slacks and dresses and heels and shiny shoes. I looked down at my feet and there they were, fucking flip flops.

8. What do you call a French man wearing slippers? Philippe Phloppe!!!

9. That's 3 points on flip flops. Sleep deprivation, my friends.

10. I like beer now, I don't know when it started but I do. Tiger, only cold tiger. I used to hate it so much. But things change. Boy do things change.

10 points. 10 percent battery left. Good night my friends. If I'm unlucky, death by green tea it shall be.

Broken Smile

2010-07-11T01:37:00.005+08:00

The past put up a good fight, but it was no match for us.

The present is warm afternoon naps, belly laughs, silly movies, spontaneous road trips and just about everything that is wonderful about us.

The future?

The future came back in time and broke my heart.